The 3 V's of Communication: Why congruency builds influence
Did you know there are three essential components to every communication you deliver? If you want to speak with influence, power, and impact, you need to get all three in alignment.
When they’re not aligned, people won’t trust you.
When they are, people will lean in, listen, and follow your lead.
Let’s break it down.
I’m Joshua Seth, keynote speaker on communication skills for leaders, and today I want to introduce you to The Three V’s of Communication—a powerful framework for becoming a more effective speaker.
This concept was first introduced by Dr. Albert Mehrabian in his landmark book Silent Messages. According to his research, your communication is made up of:
Verbal – the words you use
Vocal – the way you sound when you say them
Visual – the body language you display as you speak
Here’s the surprising part:
When these elements are in conflict, 93% of what people believe comes from your non-verbal communication.
You’ve heard the phrase, “It’s not what you say, it’s how you say it.” This is where that idea comes from.
When your verbal, vocal, and visual elements aren’t working together, people trust what they see and hear in your delivery more than the actual words you say.
Let’s break down the percentages:
7% – Verbal: The actual words
38% – Vocal: Tone, pace, pitch, and volume
55% – Visual: Body language, gestures, facial expressions, posture
Words matter—but they’re only part of the equation.
The Verbal: What You Say
Your verbal communication includes:
Word choice
Clarity of speech
Avoiding filler words, slang, or jargon
Do your words sound professional? Are you speaking clearly and intentionally, or are you filling your speech with ums, ahs, and throwaway phrases?
The words you choose do matter. But the way you deliver those words—the non-verbal elements—matter even more.
The Vocal: How You Sound
Vocal delivery is where a lot of speakers fall apart.
This includes:
Pitch (the highs and lows of your voice)
Pace (are you speaking too quickly or too slowly?)
Rhythm and pauses
Volume (are you projecting or mumbling?)
Inflection and vocal variety
Your tone of voice sends powerful emotional signals. When someone says, “I don’t like your tone,” it’s not about the words—it’s about the sound and energy behind them.
If your tone is flat, rushed, or inconsistent with your message, you lose credibility and connection.
The Visual: How You Move
Body language is more than just crossed arms or nervous fidgeting. It includes:
Eye contact
Posture and gestures
Facial expressions
Movement and use of space
Comfort level in your own skin
Your body speaks before you do. It either reinforces your words or undermines them.
If you’re saying, “I’m excited to be here,” but your body is stiff and your expression is flat, your audience won’t believe you.
The Power of Congruency
So what happens when you’ve nailed your words, your voice is strong, but your body language is awkward or tense?
It all falls apart.
Why?
Because when verbal and non-verbal communication are in conflict, people believe what they see.
Or what if your body language is strong, your words are solid, but you’re speaking in a monotone? Or your volume is too low? Again, the message won’t land.
And of course, if you sound great and look great, but don’t know what you’re talking about, your credibility will collapse.
You need all three in alignment: verbal, vocal, and visual.
When they’re working together, you achieve congruency—the sweet spot where your communication feels natural, confident, and persuasive. This is where you develop leadership presence—the kind of presence that commands attention and inspires trust.
Why This Matters
Whether you’re giving a keynote speech, leading a sales conversation, or pitching in a meeting, your communication doesn’t live in your words alone.
It lives in the experience you create for your audience.
When you align your words, your tone, and your body language, you’ll:
Capture attention
Build trust
Increase your influence
Become the kind of speaker people naturally want to follow
So the next time you prepare to speak, don’t just rehearse your words.
Think about how you’ll sound.
Think about how you’ll move.
Think about how it all fits together.
Because how you say it is what people really hear.
Joshua Seth is a keynote speaker and creator of the Sales Magic Method™. He helps leaders and sales teams communicate with confidence, clarity, and impact. Learn more at joshuaseth.com/keynote-speaker.
